like... everything has a 'like'... like, right?

"like... everything has a like... like right?"

i can almost hear these words rolling out of a teenagers mouth between bubble gum bubbles popping, with their head cocked slightly to the right and a little bit of a confused look on their face... or maybe just the honest question of a 5 year old (pretty much the same... like right ?).

no doubt i would have a confused look too until i realized what was being asked. the question is, "everything has a comparison... a "like"... right?"

coke is "like" ... crazy bubbling sugar water in your mouth.
OR... man, that felt "like" the time grandma hit me with the broom trying to kill that bat i brought home.
OR... it feels "like" it is about to rain
you get the picture...

comparison... it is how we communicate present circumstances based on passed experiences to help people take ownership in a moment. we all do it and sometimes it is quite accurate... "like" about a year ago when diana and lilly and i were in DICKS SPORTING GOODS walking around "like" 3 kids in a candy store. lilly and diana were walking by a mannequin being used to model UNDERARMOUR sports clothing. if you have not seen these mannequins, then you may not be able to grasp the truth and impact of what happened next... but these guys are RIPPED... "like", their muscles have muscles that have muscles that are on steroids. but anyway, lilly walks by, sees these "MAN"nequins, turns to diana and says... his muscles are "like" almost as big as dads!!! so true my child... so true... haha

but what about when these comparisons begin to fall apart or just do not do justice to the moment, person, or circumstance. i mean... it is the best we have right? but, there are times when we just do not have the words or even the past experiences to try to find words to compare with...

like tonight ... when i watched diana hold lilly and rock her to sleep in tears as the enormity of how our lives are about to change set in on an 8 year old mind. those were tears like... i dont know what they are like... it was like whatever the thing is that makes a daddy desparately want to fix everything for his little girl or make her not scared, but knowing this was bigger than what i had to offer on my own... it pulled and pressed on my heart "like" even I have not felt before. i wanted to reach into her little mind and put everything at ease or understand what she must be feeling about all that is about to happen, but i had nothing... so i did the only thing i knew to do.

i reached my arm around both of them and prayed to the only ONE i know that understands those moments that leave us with no words or comparisons or even response... the moments when we have no experience to call on or human means to 'fix' it with...

scripture in ISAIAH 40:25-26 tells of a God who knows the unique circumstance of being uncompareable, indescribable, beyond words, thought, or measure... check this out..
²⁵ "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

²⁶ Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

here is how THE MESSAGE SAYS IT...

^25-26"So—who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
—so magnificent! so powerful!—
and never overlooks a single one?

i LOVE THIS!!! the God beyond compare who does God stuff beyond compare... who exists in and creates the moments that we can't even make up much less find a "like" for... or some human words or actions to try to describe or manipulate the situation. moments like those require a God who can go places we can't see or haven't even dreamed exist and do things we didn't even know NEEDED done, much less how to do them. i want THAT God... i NEED that God...
a God that is BIGGER than my biggest BIG, GREATER than my greatest GREAT, ... just without compare. that was the God i wanted tonight wrapping up my little girls heart and holding my entire family for the rest of our lives.

we are in the midst of days where it feels "like" these moments are coming faster than we can process them... each one new, different than any emotion we have to draw on from the past, exciting "like" nothing i can remember or imagine. it is a little crazy, a lot humbling, very exciting...

and in a few days we will meet and hold our boys for the first time, and a few days after that we will bring them home to their sister and their new home and new family and life... and again, there will be no words, no metaphors, no comparisons, no "likes" ... that make sense or fit. but there WILL BE a God... that is beyond words, beyond metaphors, without comparison, without "LIKE"... right there penning the whole thing and smiling... 'like' an excited dad watching His kids getting to experience the thing He loves most and that He used to reconnect creation to creator...

ADOPTION...

thank you God that you exist in the places that i don't have words for, the moments i can't get to or reach... that you are big enough to march the stars out at night, call them by name, and put them in a place that leaves the human spirit in awe... and that you are mindful of me and my family ... and have invited us into this story... next chapter... "like" ... let's go!!!

confessions of an awkward dad ... or ... Love Wins

WOW!!! WE ARE IN COUNTDOWN MODE!!! ONLY 9 short days until we travel on JULY 1 to go get the boys. ASHER (5) is above left and WILL (3) is above right. we could not post pictures until we recieved our final confirmation, but these are the little men you have been praying for... thank you!

and so our days have been filled with lists... check off lists, to do lists, to pack lists, not to do lists, to do when we get back lists, to do while we are there lists, lists about which list we should start with each day, prayer lists, food lists, lilly lists, and a list of apology notes we still need to write to all the people who have had one or more of their personal possessions chewed up, eaten, or carried off by our 900lb. yellow horse of a Lab. (actually my wife is making all the lists... thanks babe)

anyway... with all of that said, the thing that dominates our thoughts and conversations of our family are not lists... but just the boys, Asher & Will, who are just a couple of weeks from having their whole lives flipped on end. people have been so kind and encouraging with words, and without fail we always seem to get things said to us like... 'your whole world is about to change' or 'life will never be the same at your house' or 'lilly and diana better watch out, the men are taking over...' (and that is true, or at least they will let us think that) but the real truth is that, MY WHOLE WORLD is not about to change and there will be parts of MY LIFE that WILL BE THE SAME. i will sleep in the same bed, live at the same house, eat a lot of the same foods, go to a lot of the same places i have been before with a lot of the same people... and this is no knock on those statements, b/c i say them myself... and i love that people are putting themselves in OUR shoes and are imagining how this whole thing might look for us... but the greatest life shift, by far, will be for the boys.

diana and lilly and i have had a hundred conversations about what their little hearts and minds will be going through b/c their whole world IS about to change... and life will NEVER BE THE SAME from anything they remember up to this point.

we have tried to imagine how communication will work (since they will not speak english and are too young to read) ... do we use signs, pictures, signals, morse code... i find myself daydreaming about simple bathroom scenarios with the boys trying to tell me what they need and me looking like a major league catcher sending pitch signals to my superstar pitcher... '1 finger means tinkle, 2 fingers means... well, it means the ol # 2, and i guess 5 fingers means.... too late, already finished. CLEAN UP ON AISLE 6.

or what about those awkward moments that can be so crushing or embarrassing... or just ... AWKWARD. i mean, we've all been there, right? ... like forgetting your future mother-in-laws name at dinner, credit card decline at toys-R-them during the Christmas line season, forgetting how to back a trailer at the lake while other boaters are waiting on you to get out of the way, getting caught picking your nose, getting caught picking a wedge, tripping over air (you know who you are), pulling up to the wrong side of a gas pump at a busy station then trying to hold your place and your temper while you turn around, having to yell for toilet paper at a friends house b/c you didn't notice the roll was out... or worse yet running the toilet over at a friends house (especially like a girlfriend or in-laws) while you stand above it trying to use your jedi powers, hand motions, and repeated 'no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, please, please, please' to keep the water in place (been there, tell your mom i'm sorry joel). moments like these, if not met with an already founded identity or someone there to laugh WITH you and remind you that these are not the things that define you, could be devastating or at the very least make you self conscious and timid.

or what about when you're scared or hurt but don't know if its ok to cry or have never had those things met with compassion and concern, kindness and gentleness. or what if you're hungry and don't know if its ok to ask for food becuase you have been taught that you those are things you just don't do. who knows what will be in their heads... or in ours in those moments. our hope is that LOVE WILL WIN. that it will cover even those awkward moments when the our hearts are tempted to find their identity in something we were never intended to be defined by. oh how we pray that LOVE WINS. my jesus teaches my that it does. and i am trusting that it will.

so that the first time little WILL (3) forgets where the bathroom is and uses diana's pillow for his 'pee pee place', or ASHER (5) finds himself dressed in a pink tutu playing princess dress up tea party because his older sister LILLY said it was what ALL little boys do ... we can all laugh and grin, hug and wrestle (not on the 'pee' pillow... but you know what i mean) and watch LOVE WIN. that even in the most awkward, strange, or confusing moment... even when we can't say it to each other in a verbal language we understand yet ... LOVE WINS ... and they can rest in that, find peace in that and comfort. (perfect love casts out fear... 1 john) i want to give that to my kids ... and to the world.

so our prayers have been simple and straight forward... from the words paul used in philippians 4... 'rejoice in the Lord always ... let your gentleness be evident to all. THE LORD IS NEAR. do not be anxious for anything ... bring all your requests to God in prayer ... and the PEACE of God that trancends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ.'

we are simply praying that God will bring that peace to them even when they don't really know what is going on... and we are praying that God will bring that peace to diana, lilly, and myself even when we don't know... and that God will guard all of our hearts and minds in Christ... that we can think more like Him, see more like Him, love more like Him, give more like Him, hear more from Him... that our minds and hearts would be completely wrapped up by Him and that our boys can not only experience the love of a family and community, but the love of Christ that 'transcends' language barriers, and chaos and confusion... that goes beyond past hurts or memories and makes way for new starts and adventures... that lets us laugh at ourselves and that turns awkward moments that could easily leave us feeling vulnerable or insecure into humor or learning and bonding experiences together as a family.

thanks again for being on the journey... and today i would simply invite you to add PEACE to your prayer list for asher, will, diana, lilly, myself, and one another... and that all of our hearts and minds would be guarded in Christ until maybe... just maybe... some awkward moment lets us give that peace and love away to someone else.

milk's expiration date and happy dads

so.... i know i know. my wife did get the blog (or 'blawg' if you hang around with some of our peoples) started then it was suppose to be back to me... and i totally dropped the ball!!! BUT I'M BACK BABY... or, i mean, i am going to get started. (only 2 months down time) and the go time is NOW!!!

there is soooo much craziness around our world right now... GOOD CRAZINESS... but craziness all the same. we are only a few weeks from leaving to pick up our boys in Ethiopia (travel dates = July 1st - 10th) OUR BOYS!!! ASHER AND WILL!!!, school is out for Lilly, i have been working on a new project, and my wife has been busy holding our entire lives together with work, schedules, BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS... (too dramatic?). but let it be known, SHE IS INCREDIBLE!!!

anyhowz... in the midst of the madness, lilly(our 8 year old daughter) and i were making a mad dash thru the local grocery store just the other day to grab some of the essentials that keep life moving around our place... like: bread, soap, diet mt. dew, toilet paper, my hair care products, pickled pigs feet, some of those sticky mouse traps, and of course the mandatory gallon of SKIM milk... (i grew up on whole milk, straight from the cow... literally, but my body type is gradually requiring less 'whole' anything, so i am trying to scale back).

back to the matter at hand though... as we approached the milk, lilly ran ahead yelling at me to hurry up that she wanted to show me something. (we are very easily entertained... i mean, what other 8 year old runs excitedly thru the dairy section longing for a moment of show and tell with her dad?) but, of course, i took 2 hard steps with my buggy and then jumped up on it and rode it like a superhero full speed in her direction.... with hair and cape flowing in the wind, muscles exploding from my shirt sleeves and a... ummm sorry, got carried away again.

HERE IS THE COOL PART THOUGH... as we both arrived out of breath in front of this 'library of lactose', with 100's of gallons of milky white... ummm ... milk, staring back at us, she made this comment with almost giggles of anticipation and excitement in her voice...

'DAD... LET ME MAKE YOU PROUD!!!' and she stood there beaming, then plunged her skinny little arm into the dark reaches of the bottom shelf of skim milk. she was bent over and almost had her whole head out of sight before the top half of her finally reappeared proudly holding a crisp cold gallon of some holstein's finest nectar.

SHE THEN PROUDLY MADE THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT...

LILLY: 'LOOK DAD. JUNE 18TH, 2010. ARE YOU PROUD?!'

this, of course, was the expiration date of the milk. I reached toward her, grabbed the milk, and then held it up in the air like the lombardi trophy for all the world to see. WAS I PROUD? WAS I PROUD? there are not even words to tell you how proud i was and excited. i announced to the world of Ingles my daughter's my recent glowing success, placed the milk in the buggy, and went straight for the high five/fist pound combo to let her know just how proud i was.

this all probably sounds crazy to you, but here is the deal. for years, i have had a habit of looking thru the gallons of milk for the one gallon whose expiration date is the farthest away. that way, it will last longer in my fridge. those gallons are usually at the back because the grocer naturally wants to sell the ones closest to expiration first. it's one of those quirky little things that some people do and i just happen to be one of those 'some' people. it is almost like a game or competition for me... 'how far ahead can i get the expiration date... 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a full lunar cycle? i love it!!! again, i know this sounds a bit odd, but this is where it gets fun... for me anyway.

you see, at some point in lilly's and my relationship, she had picked up on something that seemingly made me smile. i had not tried to show her or begged her to be a part of my silly little game, she had just observed it and decided that she wanted to play along as well... and somewhere in her 8 year old mind, she had come to a place that SHE was excited about doing something she knew made me smile. she wanted to be a part of something that she knew her DAD loved... and wanted him to be proud...

i think this would be the coolest place to live... the place where we have fallen in love with our DAD (God) knowing how much He has fallen in love with us and done for us... and where we have fallen in love with the things that He loves to do and wants to do inside this human/divine paradox of a relationship... as small, silly, or even huge and massive as these things may be... and we love being a part of His story and running to the dairy aisle yelling... HEY DAD... LET ME MAKE YOU PROUD!!! and it's NOT a performance thing... it is a love thing... that we just fall in love with doing the things He loves and has passed on for us to love too, knowing it is what our true heart desires anyway. and we stand there in the middle of a world who may not fully understand this relationship yet, and we hold our milk up in the air and excitedly announce the expiration date... and our DAD smiles... and winks... and we smile and kind of laugh... then HE gives us a little fist bump as we stroll toward 'self check'.

this is the life i want to live, and i feel like we are getting to do just that. one of the things that scripture talks about frequently is God's heart and passion for orphans. and all of us have been an orphan of some kind at some time. we have all, at the very least, been without the fatherhood of Christ at some point, and others of us even without our earthly fathers. but God has placed this same passion in our hearts to join him on this aisle in life, and reach back into some of the unseen rows of faces and now we are just a few short weeks from traveling to Ethiopia and lifting our 2 new sons (asher and will) up in our arms to hold them for the first time... and i pray that they know how much they are loved... and i can't wait to tell them about another Father that loves them even more than Diana and I.

come on for the journey. we would love for you to be a part of this story too. and, oh yeah... i will be watching for you in the milk aisle... you know you will be checking expiration dates...